malaysian-humor
SEVEN video files were found on the personal computer of a Singapore Airlines (SIA) pilot who was fined A$12,000 for trying to bring child pornography into Australia, court documents showed on Wednesday.
Some of the videos contained footage of rape, sexual violence and children engaged in sexual activity, the documents said.
Captain Ng Kok Yauw, 41, a Malaysian, piloted a Singapore Airlines flight last Saturday from Singapore to Adelaide, Australia, when customs officials searched his laptop and found video clips of child pornography, Adelaide court documents seen by Reuters said
Feb 14, 2008
Malay-SIA-n Pilot!
Pak Lah Said Esok Takada, But Ada!
malaysian-humor.blogspot
As reported in The Star, Parliament will not be dissolved today (Tuesday).
Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi put an end to such speculation, telling reporters:“Esok tak ada (No, it won’t be tomorrow)”. Tomorrow is Wednesday. That's today. The day Pak Lah announced Parliament has been dissolved!
Demi kanda Anwar, Azizah sedia berundur
BUTTERWORTH: Presiden Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR), Datin Seri Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, bersedia memberi jalan untuk suaminya, Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, bertanding di kawasan undi Permatang Pauh jika beliau berjaya mengekalkan kerusi parlimennya itu dalam pilihan raya umum Malaysia yang akan datang.
Dr Wan Azizah bersedia mengundur diri agar satu pilihan raya kecil dapat diadakan bagi membolehkan Anwar bertanding bagi mendapatkan semula kerusi parlimennya itu.
'Untuk beliau berbuat demikian, kami harus memenangi kerusi itu terdahulu,' katanya semasa membuka cawangan pusat operasi Pemuda PKR di Bandar Sunway Seberang Jaya di sini Ahad lalu.
Datuk Anwar tidak boleh bertanding dalam pilihan raya umum ini jika ia diadakan sebelun pertengahan April ini kerana beliau pernah didapati bersalah bagi kesalahan rasuah dan salah laku seks.
Dalam satu perkembangan lain di Pulau Pinang, seorang pemimpin negeri Parti Tindakan Demokratik (DAP) melahirkan rasa marah terhadap rancangan parti itu untuk mencalonkan tiga orang yang 'diimport' dari luar negeri itu untuk bertanding di negeri itu.
Ketua Pasukan Bertindak DAP, Tham Weng Fatt, mengecam tindakan parti itu mengambil 'calon-calon payung terjun' dan mengetepikan pemimpin berasal dari Pulau Pinang.
Tham malah berkata penyokongnya telah mengoyakkan poster-poster DAP dari van Proton Juaranya kerana marah akan rancangan itu.
Sambil mengatakan beliau tiada pilihan kecuali melanggar perintah partinya yang melarang sebarang pendedahan dibuat, Encik Tham mempersoal keperluan rancangan DAP mahu membawa 'orang luar' itu, sambil menambah bahawa beliau sedang menimbangkan semula kedudukannya dalam DAP sekarang.
DAP telah mengumumkan bahawa seorang blogger,Jeff Ooi, dari Kedah; pensyarah politik, Profesor Dr P Ramasamy, dari Perak; dan Liew Chin Tong, dari Selangor, akan menjadi antara calon parti itu di Pulau Pinang.
Setiausaha Agung DAP, Lim Guan Eng, dari Melaka, juga dijangka bertanding bagi parti itu di negeri tersebut.
Presiden PAS akan serah 'warkah bantahan' kepada Istana Negara
Intan Abdullah
harakahdaily
KUALA LUMPUR, 14 Feb(Hrkh) - Presiden PAS, Dato' Seri Tuan Guru Abdul Hadi Awang akan menghantar "Warkah Bantahan" kepada Yang Dipertuan Agong untuk mengadu beberapa isu kepincangan dalam sistem pilihan raya umum yang tidak menepati proses demokrasi sebenar jam 3.00 petang esok, di Istana Negara.
Menurut satu surat yang dihantar kepada Harakahdaily hari ini, Setiausaha Akhbrnya, Roslan Shahir Dato'Mohd Shahir berkata, PAS akan menyertai Pilihan Raya Umum ke 12 ini.
Namun PAS mendapati beberapa prosesnya terus diragui dan pincang sehingga boleh mencacatkan sistem demokrasi yang diamalkan dan dijamin oleh perlembagaan dan undang-undangnya.
"Oleh itu PAS terpaksa menyembah aduan kepada Yang Dipertuan Agong memohon agar Tuanku maklum dan sedia memerintahkan apa sahaja tindakan yang perlu bagi menjamin pilihan raya di negara ini terus berjalan dengan adil dan bersih," demikian menurut kenyataan tersebut.
Tambahnya, tiga masalah besar yang akan disentuh dalam "Warkah Bantahan" itu adalah isu memanipulasi undi pos, proses celup jari yang diragui dan penafian akses kepada media.
Satu sidang media akan diadakan sebaik sahaja warkah tersebut diserahkan./wann.
BABI NAIK MINYAK
Exco Pahang Mengamuk Anwar Turun Padang !!
Oleh: cucumatkilau
tranungkite
Entah apa nak jadi dengan puak-puak UMNO Karat ini. Belum pun parlimen dibubarkan tiba-tiba salah seorang Exco Pahang yang dikenali sebagai YB Soffi Anak Cikgu Razak dikatakan telah mengamuk dan "Naik Minyak". Gelagat beliau yang sungguh memalukan orang-orang kampung itu kabarnya disebabkan kerana tidak berpuas hati dan gentar dengan kunjungan Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim ke kawasan beliau baru-baru ini (9 Feb 2008).
Menurut SB Cucu YB Soffi yang merupakan Exco Jawatankuasa Perumahan dan Kerajaan Tempatan Pahang amat kecewa atas kehadiran Anwar. Lantaran itu beliau bertindak dengan menyerang urusetia bertugas, yang sedang menyiapkan kerja-kerja bagi menyambut Anwar. Kabarnya, lagak YB Soffi selaku ADUN Benta amat memalukan kerana beliau lupa yang program ceramah tersebut telah diluluskan permit oleh pihak polis. Bahkan ianya turut mendapat kebenaran daripada pihak-pihak yang bertanggung jawab. YB Soffi dikatakan melenting akibat melihat sokongan yang diberikan oleh rakyat dikawasan beliau terhadap Anwar. Bahkan, majoriti sahabat handai dan saudara-mara terdekat beliau turut memberi sokongan terhadap Anwar.
"Jangan cuba nak ganggu kawasan saya !! Bertindak profesional sikit. Ini kawasan saya" gertak YB Soffi kepada petugas-petugas KeAdilan yang berada di bilik gerakan urusetia sambutan ketika itu. "YB lah sepatutnya yang perlu profesional, bukankah negara kita adalah negara demokrasi !!" Jawab salah seorang petugas terbabit.
Berang dengan jawapan tersebut, YB Soffi telah mengarahkan anak-anak buahnya yang "Karat UMNO" itu untuk menanggalkan poster dan bendera KeAdilan dan PAS yang diletakkan disepanjang jalan berhampiran dengan kawasan ceramah Anwar pada malam itu. Bahkan, anak-anak buahnya juga dilihat telah menanggalkan bendera pembangkang di tapak ceramah dan digantikan dengan bendera UMNO/BN. Biarpun petugas-petugas KeAdilan bertindak menanggalkan kembali bendera UMNO/BN dan digantikan semula dengan bendera dan poster Keadilan/PAS namun anak-anak buah YB Soffi sekali lagi dikatakan telah menanggalkan dan menggantikannya dengan bendera UMNO/BN. Bukankah perangai puak-puak UMNO ini sesungguhnya macam budak-budak?. Termasuk jugalah YB Soffi Exco Pahang yang "Kecut Perut" dan "Macam Cacing Kepanasan" akibat melihat sokongan rakyat dikawasannya terhadap Anwar dan parti pembangkang.
Apapun, kabarnya ceramah perdana Anwar tetap berjalan seperti biasa mengikut jadual. Dalam ceramahnya Anwar sempat menyindir puak-puak UMNO itu. Antara lain Anwar menegaskan beliau cukup gembira kerana kunjungan beliau ke Benta turut disambut oleh rakan-rakan dari UMNO/BN. Cuma katanya, mungkin puak-puak UMNO/BN lupa bahawa beliau telah keluar dari UMNO/BN dan kini bersama KeAdilan. INi berikutan dengan banyaknya kibaran bendera UMNO/BN disempanjang jalan dan lokasi tapak ceramah tersebut. Ucapan Anwar itu disambut dengan tepukan gemuruh oleh para hadirin yang membanjiri kawasan tersebut.
Kabarnya lokasi ceramah pada malam itu letaknnya hanya kira-kira 500 meter daripada rumah orang kuat UMNO/BN yang juga merupakan saudara YB Soffi. Sebelum itu YB Soffi dikatakan sempat bertandang ke rumah saudaranya itu kerana meraikan persiapan majlis perkahwinan anak beliau. Maka itulah, YB Soffi ternampak begitu meriah sekali acara sambutan yang bakal diadakakan terhadap ceramah Anwar. Mungkin kerna itu juga beliau cukup melenting agaknya.
Apapun. semuanya telah berakhir. Berita YB Soffi mengamuk telah sampai ke pengetahuan orang-orang kampung terutamanya di DUN Benta. Terdengar desas-desus dikalangan penyokong UMNO sendiri yang hairan dan malu dengan tindakan YB mereka itu. Kata mereka, apakah yang ditakutkan sangat oleh YB muda itu? Walhal pengaruhnya dikatakan amat kuat di Benta. Ditambah lagi dengan statusnya sebagai Exco kerajaan negeri Pahang. Kenapakah beliau begitu "Teruja" dengan kehadiran Anwar?. Syabas diucapkan kepada Saudara Zakaria Hamid, Calon PKR DUN Benta yang telah berjaya menakut-nakutkan YB Benta itu. Mungkin, harapan yang lebih cerah untuk kemenangan dapat kita lihat selepas ini.
Akhirnya setelah menjalankan siasatan, maka fahamlah Cucu kenapa YB Soffi mengamuk. Kononnya, beliau kini kemaruk untuk melobi jawatan Menteri Besar Pahang yang bakal dikosongkan oleh Datuk Nan. Biarpun dalam artikel terdahulu Cucu ada mengatakan nama Dato' Sharkar ADUN Lanchang berada diranking paling atas. Namun, angin kencang juga bertiup mengatakan YB Soffi juga mengidamkan jawatan tersebut dan akan menggunakan "Pintu Belakang". Siapakah yang bakal membantu YB Soffi? Alkisah, YB Soffi kini dikatakan begitu rapat dengan kroninya yang mempunyai pengaruh yang kuat dengan pihak istana. Nama yang dikaitkan dengan beliau ialah "Tok Muda Halim" yang dikatakan bakal merealisasikan hasrat beliau itu. Soalnya siapakah Tok Muda Halim ini? Di Pahang, sudah pasti ramai yang kenal dengan beliau kerana hubungan rapatnya dengan pihak istana. Bahkan beliau juga sering dilihat bersama tuanku dalam banyak acara-acara rasmi. Benarkan Tok Muda Halim adalah kroni YB Soffi yang bakal digunakan untuk menjadi MB melalui pintu belakang. Sama-samalah kita nantikan episod ini. Pastinya lebih panas dan lebih mendebarkan.
Melihat kepada senario ini, maka jelaslah pemimpin UMNO/BN sebenarnya amat takut dengan sokongan rakyat terhadap Anwar dan parti pembangkang amnya. Dalam kunjungan Anwar ke DUN Sabai dan DUN Jenderak sebelum itu juga, kita melihat arus perubahan sudah pun melanda. Sokongan rakyat amat memuaskan hati sekali. Lebih menarik, terdapat juga perkampungan orang asli di Jenderak yang turut menyokong Anwar dan pembangkang. Inilah yang amat menggusarkan mereka sebenarnya. Cuma apa yang kita harapkan, agar sokongan ini akan dinatijahkan menerusi undi menjelang pilihanraya umum akan datang. Lakukan perubahan demi masa depan yang lebih terjamin.
Jeanne dapat hadiah jam RM200,000, beg tangan RM0.6 juta
Pendapat Setelah isu jam yang dipakai oleh bininya yang cantik jelita itu berjumlah hampir dengan nilai empat buah rumah murah yang setiap satu dikira berharga RM45 ribu, khabarnya pemberian Patrick Badawi. Sudah tersebar akan kisah bini cantiknya diberikan beg tangan bertatah emas pertama berharga tidak kurang RM600 ribu oleh seorang adik Ketua Menteri.
Oleh Sang Kelembai
Di bawah pentadbiran The Invisible Government Kerajaan tiga beranak dalam berbagai kenaikan harga barang keperluan makanan sampailah kepada bahan bakar, rakyat seperti tidak hendak mengambil tahu bahawa setiap sesuatu itu adalah untuk memberikan keuntungan kepada kroninya.Contohnya kenaikan harga minyak dengan alasan membantu meningkatkan pengangkutan awam dari berapa jumlah ratusan juta yang terkumpul dari penghapusan subsidi kertas itu, berapa banyak syarikat Scommi milik anaknya berkepentingan mendapat nikmat dari subsidi itu, dari membekal gerabak KTM, membekal Bas Rapid buatan China untuk Kuala Lumpur dan Pulau Pinang sehinggalah Abdullah Hj Ahmad bersetuju projek monorel di Putrajaya ditangguhkan sementara Scommi sudah bersedia membekal gerabak monorel dan melaksanakan projek monorel di Pulau Pinang.
Namun demikian, rakyat seperti masih tidak mengerti dan menerima sikap Abdullah Hj Ahmad kecuali sebahagian besar orang yang cerdik dan faham tidak seperti ahli-ahli UMNO terhadap fenomena turunnya populariti UMNO kerana sikap Abdullah Hj Ahmad dalam berbagai hal yang tersiar dalam media alternatif terutamanya dalam Internet khasnya dalam isu rasuah yang didalanginya sendiri.
Setelah isu jam yang dipakai oleh bininya yang cantik jelita itu berjumlah hampir dengan nilai empat buah rumah murah yang setiap satu dikira berharga RM45 ribu, khabarnya pemberian Patrick Badawi. Sudah tersebar akan kisah bini cantiknya diberikan beg tangan bertatah emas pertama berharga tidak kurang RM600 ribu oleh seorang adik Ketua Menteri.
'Does the PM think we're dumb fools?'
Malaysiakini - He will regret and pay for this lie about dissolving Parliament. He could have easily said, ‘I will think about it when the right time comes’ or even as simple ‘No comment’.
On PM dissolves Parliament
Sheikh Rizal Housein: Is the PM taking Malaysians for a ride? Does he think we Malaysians are real dumb? The whole world knew he was going to dissolve the Parliament yesterday. However, on Feb 12, when the media interviewed him, he dismissed it and even had the nerve to say that Parliament won’t be dissolved the next day.
Even the Press headlines said Parliament wouldn’t be dissolved on Feb 13. And then, yesterday, Feb 13, he dissolved Parliament. What does he think we Malaysians are, dumb fools? Well, the joke is on him. He will regret and pay for this lie.
He could had easily said, ‘I will think about it when the right time comes’ or even as simple ‘No comment’. Now, in the eyes of all Malaysians, the PM is the biggest liar in Malaysia.
Charity Lee: Day before yesterday, the PM said Parliament wouldn't be dissolved yesterday (the date of his favourite/lucky number, 13). But yesterday, he said Parliament is dissolved. Didn't Pak Lah just lie to our faces?
Of course he knew when it would be dissolved. And of course he knew the King wouldn't object to it. It's exactly this kind of duplicity that makes it hard for anyone to trust the PM regardless of what he may be saying or whether his intentions are good or bad.
Time and time again Malaysians have been let down by his insincere, shoot-himself-in-the-foot statements. At least he's consistent in that!
Raj: In less than 24 hours, the premier went back on his word on dissolving the Malaysian parliament. We Malaysians do not have any issues on his prerogative to decide. However, what matters most to us are his words. For a man of his stature, we expect a little honesty when he speaks out. But sad to say he never seems to realise that every word he speaks would reach 27 million people out there who eventually will find out that the PM lying.
Personally, and I am sure most fellow Malaysians also would agree with me, this portrays him as a man who never keeps his promise. He need not have lied. How to trust a leader who says one thing one day but makes a hundred and eighty degree turn in less than 24 hours? How to trust him with the future of Malaysians? Pak Lah, please tell me as Malaysian why should I trust you and vote for you? I deserve an honest reply from you.
Ludricrous: Our infamous and sleepy Abdullah probably had to be ‘told’ by son-in-law Khairy Jamaluddin (considered as the most powerful man in Malaysia) and Altantunya Najib that he is supposed to announce the dissolution of parliament yesterday. Abdullah just didn't know he had to do it and now comes up with lame excuses for looking as lost as he really is.
If this is not the case, then why didn't Abdullah simply tell the media on Feb 12 that he will make an announcement the next day (yesterday) rather than make an about turn?
YSM: Five possible reasons for the prime minister’s flip-flop statement on the dissolution of Parliament:
- He is a liar and makes empty promises
- He is unsure of his plans from day-to-day and makes decisions as and when
- He was misquoted by the media that is owned by the BN
- He received sudden inspiration on the night of Feb 12.
- He received urgent news during the cabinet session which made him change his mind.
Who knows? We will never know the reasons behind all the flip flops, u-turns and knots which our dear prime minister loves making.
Mooshie Mooshie: Are we that dumb or are we that plain forgetful? Forget about the politics.Why must he lie to us again? Just say from the heart that election is near, no need to bluff us - we are grown women and men. Not dummies. We are to vote only, not play poker.
You think we can so easily forget about your last bluff? Remember, you said you don't know that your son Kamaluddin (or what ever his name is) on the issue that his proxy companies were given all the big, big big petroleum contracts. Remember you said you ‘don't know’ and you need to find out? That’s lame man!
And the other bluff about the yacht? Remember? Ok, even if assuming we were born yesterday, we would still remember you know. Why must bluff about parliament dissolving?.Election only what? How to vote for you when you always tell people lies?
AN OPEN LETTER TO HINDRAF SUPPORTERS & ALL MALAYSIANS
by P.Wayhthamoorthy.
myunitedindians
I invite you to join my only 5 year daughter on Feb 16th who would brave the might of Police with their tear gas and chemical laced water cannons to prevent her and thousands against reaching Parliament House to deliver their messages of Peace and Justice.Many may wonder why Roses to a PM who doesn’t understand or pretend not to understand the plight of Malaysian Indians. Many emailed me seeking answers whether we have softened our demands.No. Under no circumstances would we soften our demand and approach. We have remained silent for far too long and if we don’t insist on our demands now then we never would in the future.Pre and post 25/11 has seen various baseless accusations against HINDRAF and its leaders.
Prior to that hundreds of our letters, appeals, memorandums ect to the PM had gone to deaf ears. When we “moved” the Indian community, suddenly the Government woke up not knowing how to tackle the problem of the new “Peaceful Indian uprising” against their might. They had all the while taken the Indian community for granted.
That the Indian community are a bunch that can be pleased with “sweeteners” especially during elections. They had taken for granted that there wouldn’t be credible and capable leaders who would genuinely fight for them and their cause. I can only thank the Indian community for having the confidence on HINDRAF.
The Government had to cover up their bungle for the mess they created on 25/11. Hence the accusations of racists, fundamentalists and terrorists. They wanted to create a situation where the Malays would hate HINDRAF and rally behind them.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the Government’s strategy to use HINDRAF and 25/11 to unite the already divided Malay community between them, Keadilan and PAS so that the Malays would rally their support behind UMNO. Fear of HINDU fundamentalism was created amongst Malays. It is sad that after 50 years the Government and UMNO still relies on race politics for their survival.So on Feb 16th we proceed with our Roses.
Valentine is associated with the Western Christian culture but accepted universally as a day to express LOVE. It is a time when the whole world seeks for ROSES to reach out their loved ones and send messages of Love.I don’t ask you to love the PM personally but I ask you to love the highest position entrusted upon him by the Yang Dipertuan Agong to lead the country. Most of us hated Mahathir for his 22 years “regime” but we hold no grudges against him today. Likewise would be no reason holding grudges against the PM.
Let us give him the RED & YELLOW ROSES to symbolize/ remind him and assert that we are a peace loving community who come to him in all sincerity with our 18 demands that were submitted in July 2007 (Red Roses) and that we demand Justice for the 5 detained leaders (Yellow Roses). There are many ways of expressing quest and thirst for our basic fundamental rights and ROSES are a special way to convey those messages from a community who have been oppressed suppressed and marginalized for 50 years.The whole world saw what happened on 25/11. Let the world again see and appreciate the peaceful struggle of these permanently colonized community. Believe me many in the western country are waiting anxiously to observe the Governments’ reaction on 16/02.I have known and read many regimes brought down by Power of Roses.
But of course it was a failure at Tianaman Square China. I remember how the soldiers shot down innocent people with ROSES who championed and peacefully sought their rights. And so I can never promise you that all will be well on 16/02. Let us all Pray that our leaders would have the wisdom and courage to accept that after 50 years the Indian Community are prepared to “rise” for their rights because MALAYSIA HAS ALWAYS BEEN THEIR MOTHERLAND. By accepting those Roses the PM would prove to the entire country that he is a listening “father” of the nation.I seek forgiveness of the Almighty for placing my only 5-year daughter on the forefront to face the possibility of the first round of tear gas and chemical laced water. Like any other child Vwaishhnnavi is a symbol of LOVE & AFFECTION. She is my only worldly treasure. I neither posses not property nor wealth. And I dedicate my only “treasure” for the cause of this suppressed community. I embrace the brave mother of this child for her determination, courage and commitment shown towards the struggle.
Vwaishhnnavi and many others of her age would brave the message of purity, truth, sincerity, and unselfishness for the sake of the future Indian generation.May I invite all Malaysians irrespective of colour and creed to join us in this symbolic gesture to seek Justice for a marginalized community neglected, unattended forgotten for 50 years. Let us all declare Friday the 15th Feb a National Prayer Day for the Almighty to grand wisdom to leaders of our country to allow our future generation to express their message of Peace & Justice.Let us all pray that the Prime Minister who claims that he has big ears to listen to grouses of all communities allow this child any many others including us to whisper the message of LOVE AND JUSTICE through the ROSES.
P.Waytha Moorthy
ChairmanHINDRAF
Currently in London
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