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Jan 7, 2008

Cooking Oil Conspiracy/Konspirasi


(...) Why cooking oil? Well, because most of them are made from palm oil. If you increase cooking oil price, then palm oil price will increase along with it.

And how would that influence KLCI numbers? Well, the index is the average figure given to the performance of 100 selected stocks in Malaysia. Currently, two oil palm plantation stocks represent more than 10% of the KLCI pie. So naturally, if you increase the palm oil price, you'll increase the stock price, hence the whole damn index!

How do we do it? Like this...
We pretend that we are short of cooking oil because there is little palm oil supply. We cite flooding and smuggling as reasons for palm oil and cooking oil shortage respectively. Do not ever mention that we are currently exporting our palm oil to China in record volumes. We then issue a notice to Giant and Carrefour hypermarts to allow 5kg of oil per person, only 5kg. This would create an illusion of scarcity. Then we infiltrate the news media, and get them to use the word ration liberally. People would soon forget that we are in fact, rich with any kind of oil in this country. They would also be blinded by the fact that for the average household, 5kg of oil could last them for months, and besides they can buy another 5kg of cooking oil if they bother to go back to the supermarket and queue up again. But with words like rationing and "5kg only per person", people will rush for cooking oil and actually cause a real shortage.

You see, "5kg of cooking oil per person" is the key to win the election. Easy.

Okay, I am done with talking and answering my own questions. Of course, I just made up the 5kg per person theory. This sort of thing would and could never happen in our country.... |more...|

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