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Mar 2, 2008

A new found disease founded in Rembau


kHairy Jamaluddin is a new found disease founded in Rembau,Malaysia. It is known as a new species of parasite. It is pronounced as k-Hairy Jamaluddin.

Scientific Classification
Kingdom: Eukaryota
Phylum: Alveolata
Class: Mamalia
Order: Parasita
Family: Babi
Genus: Hairy
Species: jamaluddin

This new species was once a theoretical organism of a type of Fatal-Parasitism-Organism that will lead to the death of its host(s).

Hairy jamaluddin has been discovered recently from a pile of shit in Malaysia, the penis of Asia. The brownish colour of the parasite makes it hard to be discriminated from the colour of the shit, and this is the newest method of camouflage known to date.

Hairy, is taken form the Greek word "Hairre" which is possibly derived form a Persian source meaning "Pubic Hair". The word "Jamaluddin" is taken from the Latin word "Jamaeludea" which means "Sucking". Therefore, Hairy jamaluddin means "Sucking the Pubic Region" in some way.

It's believed that Hairy jamaluddin is a type of mutated organism, much like the mutation of carcinoma, that survived and made itself into a different species. Its predecessor is still haven't been identified, but it's widely believed that it's also a pubic-region-sucking parasite.

Hairy jamaluddin can live in almost every part on Earth, but it tends to aim for rich, fat asses of daughters of PMs or Future PMs. This is due to the presence of large masses of fat and the warm and humid environment of the pubic region of its host(s) aids to its growth.

Hairy jamaluddin will start to aim for its host(s) after it learned about Economy and Corruption. Once have their target, the parasite will attach itself to its host(s), and begin sucking at their pubic region like hell. In most cases, the host(s) will eventually become exhausted within 2 days due to its suck. The purpose for Hairy jamaluddin to suck that part is because it needs lots of vaginal juice in order to survive. Due to the high-nutritious value of these juices, the parasite can live and carry out parasitoid with the host(s). The parasite will then slowly extend its hairs longer, grasping, tangling and taking control of its host(s). Sometimes it will produce pseudopodiums(or fake penises) for better grip. After taking control of its host(s), it aims for its host's(hosts') bank accounts. This is the most important thing for it to do besides sucking. Also, it tend to get connection from its host(s) to access to the host's(hosts') relatives' bank accounts.

Hairy jamaluddin will carry out parasitoid once attached to the pubic region of its host(s) due to the nutritional supply. Parasitoid is a parasitic interaction between an organism with a parasite, and it's more severe than normal parasitic interactions, often proven to be lethal. The disease caused by parasitoid interaction with Hairy jamaluddin is called Corruption.

Symptoms and Progress of Disease
Corruption will first be noticed when daughter(s) of PMs or future PMs get(s) itchy and uncomfortable. This is just the first stage of the whole progress. The itchiness will become more severe after 2 days. This time, Hairy jamaluddin start to activate its Macho-Macho Gene and take over its host(s) by elongating its hairs and sometimes its fake penises(pseupodiums). The host(s) is(are) now extremely exhausted and inexperienced doctors may thought this is just plain fatigue(because they didn't suspect infection on their patients' pubic region). Experienced doctors will note their first symptoms, that is itchiness. This gave a clue on Corruption caused by Hairy jamaluddin. But sadly, this kind of experienced doctors is extinct. Corruption will now enter another stage, with Hairy jamaluddin took control of its host's(hosts') bank accounts. The hosts will be frightened with the drop of the amount of bank savings faster than lau-sai(watery shit). This will progress to a more severe state when the relatives of its host(s) also experience the same symptoms where their bank saving accounts decreased furiously. On the final stage of Corruption, Hairy jamaluddin will take control of its host's(hosts') daddy that is the PM and become the first ever Parasitic dictator of history.

There are totally no prevention of this disease, as parasitoid by Hairy jamaluddin is inevitably fatal. But need not to be frightened, because you're not PM's daughter.


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